Apologies and repair
How to apologize after an argument
Own your part without using the apology as one more chance to prove your point.
Do not hide the argument inside the apology
Apologize for the behavior you controlled: shouting, interrupting, insulting, leaving, or refusing to listen. The disagreement can still be real without becoming an excuse.
If you need to discuss the original issue, finish the apology first. Ask for a separate conversation when both people are calmer.
Three ways the words can begin
01“I am sorry I raised my voice and talked over you. That was disrespectful, even though I was upset.”
02“I kept trying to win instead of understand you. I am sorry for how alone that probably made you feel in the conversation.”
03“Leaving without saying when I would come back was unfair. Next time I will name that I need a pause and agree on when we will continue.”
Should I apologize if they also behaved badly?
You can own your part without excusing theirs. A specific apology does not require you to accept behavior that crossed your boundaries.
How soon should I send it?
Wait until you can apologize without adding a new accusation. Do not use silence as punishment, but give yourself enough time to be precise.